There are plenty of influences that helped me make the decision to join the military. First, my father and grandfather both served in the military. Second, after high school I still couldn’t find my place in life and had no idea what I wanted to become. I came from a broken family. I was raised by my mother and grandparents. It wasn’t a bad childhood, but it lacked a lot of discipline and other features that I needed in my life. One day I met a recruiter while working for a car dealership. I decided to go in and talk to him to get some information about joining the military. As the conversation went on, I started to pick up on some of the values that he spoke of like honor, courage, commitment, accountability, challenge, and brotherhood. At that point, I didn’t have these values in my life and I wanted them desperately.

I joined the United States Navy. I chose the Navy because it provided me the opportunity to see the world, and it also offered the Hospital Corpsman rate, the bestand most versatile rate in the United States Military, hands-down. Choosing the Corpsman rating meant that
I could chase my dream of becoming a Navy Seal. The other great selling point was that there were medical treatment facilities all over the world. That meant I could get duty stations anywhere allowing me to see the rest of the world.

After graduating, from boot camp and my Hospital Corpsman School in Great Lakes, I received my first duty orders to Oak Harbor, WA, Naval Air Station, Whidbey Island. I was not happy to say the least. I accepted the fact that I was stuck on an island and made the most of it. I really honed my medical skills while there. I also met a Navy Seal on base who took me under his wing and picked me up and trained me everyday for a solid year to prepare me for the Seal program. I had excelled above and beyond my peers and picked up a non commissioned officer rating in a year. I was also selected as “Sailor of the Quarter” and nominated 3 other times. With a handful of letters of recommendations from that duty station, I received my orders to attend BUDS Navy Seal Training shortly after.

One morning after getting thrashed in the pool I decided to go to the gym to loosen up my legs on a stationary bike. I was watching the TV when I saw the first Jet crash into the World Trade Center. I watched in awe and disbelief. Lots of things ran through my mind as I prayed for the people and families involved in that horrific tragedy. I knew right then and there that this was going to change my life. The next morning everyone had the look of sorrow and fear in their eyes as we stood at attention in the morning muster report. They asked for volunteers to go to Camp Pendleton for orders with the 1st Marine Division. I was the first to stand tall, front and center. This decision would change the course of my life forever. I gave up my dream of becoming a Navy Seal to go and fight for my country. All of the sweat and hard work was traded in for the real deal. This memory will always be in my mind.

I deployed with the 1st Marines 4th Battalion Scout Sniper Platoon on my first deployment. We had been tasked out on numerous operations. It was a very tough deployment. My second deployment was with 1st Reconnaissance Battalion – the Swift, Silent, Deadly. Throughout my deployment I was involved in some very big fights – Fallujah, Kufa, Najaf, and Ramadi just to name a few. During the last deployment I sustained multiple bomb blast and injuries that still affect me to this day. I had gone on deployment married and came home single. That was a tough one. The deployments took a lot out of my family and friends. I left the military with an honorable discharge, but badly battered.

Out of all of my medals, awards, achievements, qualification badges and devices during my career, the one that is the most meaningful to me is my Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal with Combat Valor. I believe this medal was understated due to the fact that a Marine Corp Lieutenant snubbed me. We often bumped heads because he was a boot. The award was earned during Operation Phantom Fury. My sniper team was in a position in Fallujah teamed up with a team of Army Rangers as a decoy to lure the enemy to
our position so that the invading Marines and Army could attack from the rear. We came under heavy artillery and RPG fire that destroyed our position. We fought it out for hours with everything we had. That day all 6 Rangers were wounded. I rendered medical aid while under gunfire at the same time neutralizing enemy forces and protecting my men. Later that day I would end up leaving my position and saving 2 out of 3 innocent children while under heavy enemy fire.

I had lived a great professional selfless career in the military. I felt that I lived a glorious life at the time but the civilian chapters in my life would be much more difficult and painful. This would be the beginning of the most difficult war in my life.

When I got back from my last deployment I knew that I was not the same man. I was emotionless and numb. I had zero tolerance for others and pushed family and loved ones out of my life. It was very difficult for me to find my way in a country that I defended that had no concept of what we did over there. I went to school during my struggle and it just seemed to agitate me even more. I couldn’t accept that I could be part of America’s premiere fighting force, yet found it difficult to excel at simple things. I was battling nightmares, rapid memory loss, rage and loneliness. I bounced around to random meaningless jobs. The diagnosis of TBI/PTSD – the unseen demon – and other physical injuries was starting to sneak up on me, tearing me apart from the inside out.

TBI made normal every day tasks very difficult. I was being seen by the Veterans Administration and their ‘C’ squad of employees. I was desperate, and I was stuck in the system with treatment that made no sense to me, such as medicating someone that is already emotionless and
making them more numb. I could go on, and on, about the lack of knowledgeable ideas the VA has for treatment but I would be preaching to the choir.

I knew that I had to reach out elsewhere for help and for me it started with the Semper Fi Fund. They began sending me to different TBI and PTSD clinics around the nation. That’s when I started realizing that there are more guys like me. I thought I was the only one struggling, that nobody would ever understand. I thought I was fighting this fight alone. Boy was I wrong. I was humbled and my eyes were opened wide. The more I went to the different programs, the more I realized that I enjoyed them. I was meeting real world warrior heroes that had been broken by the same pressures and wounds that I had. I made some very strong bonds with the people I met at these places. The Semper Fi Fund asked if I would like to attend another program, the MMF FOCUS program, and I jumped at the chance to go.

Arriving at the FOCUS camp, I was excited but quiet. I always remain quiet and observant of my surroundings. As soon as we boarded our bus at the airport to take us to the facilities I met some of the other guys. I hit it off with a couple and just knew this was going to be great. For some, this was the best they had eaten since leaving the military. For others, this is the most they had talked in years. During the week friendships really began to blossom and by the end of the week we didn’t want to go home to face reality. Go home, to what? …Judgments by others that have no clue of what we’ve been through? …Not fitting in and having no belonging in life. …To our country that has given up on us and not provided us with proper training and jobs? I was happy and content just to stay at FOCUS with my new brothers. As we all chatted and absorbed the content that was filled in our hearts and
minds that week, I knew I was a stronger man.

FOCUS helped me form a game plan for my life back home. FOCUS took a different approach. They asked me to look inside myself for answers with some very unique methods. It really worked. FOCUS had a major impact on me.

The FOCUS program introduced me to The Mission Continues. The Mission Continues Fellowship program sets a veteran up with a monthly stipend for volunteer work in their community. I was working just 20 hours a week and they would give me a stipend to help me with my rent.

I attended The Mission Continues orientation and they gave me a new set of core values. I met more amazing people. They offered me a new challenge. Once I started with my host organization, Team Kids, I started working with a close-knit team again. I was assigned duties. I started feeling a sense of belonging. I started caring about my new team. I started breaking down the wall that I had built to keep others out for so long. I felt like I started to come back to life, having a feeling of self worth, something that I hadn’t had in years. After being left by my wife, country, and family, it’s easy to lose faith in humanity. I had found value in my self once again.

This new fellowship started to show me that it wasn’t about me; it was about service to others. For some reason, focusing on helping others helped me. It reminded me of why I served my country in the first place. Service, meaningful service. Service occupies my mind on how I can make the world better. Since then I have stopped having racing thoughts, rage and anger. I still have tough days but the depression is gone. I can sleep peacefully at night. I have confidence and self esteem. This has been
the biggest form of rehab in my life! The Mission Continues understands this concept. Our Fellows understand this concept. We need to continue to serve our country in our country. We need to have a sense of value and belonging. We need to be tasked out on missions. Why
can’t the government figure this out?

Throughout my fellowship, I continued to break down barriers and civilian stereotypes. I continued to use the tools that I learned while I was in the military. Our military assets are powerful beyond measure. Hard work, honor, dedication, commitment, accountability and teamwork are a needed commodity in the civilian sector. I got a degree in Fire Science. You know how much that degree has helped me out in life? ZER0. My values, character and military tools have opened more doors for me than anything. I’m not saying an education is not important, because it is. It’s more of a requirement in society. Take the educational opportunities as they come along because they are another tool to add to your always growing tool box. If you’re not learning and evolving, you’re dying. Don’t neglect the gifts and skills that the military gave you, because they can’t teach that skill set in any college.

Since the end of my 6-month fellowship with The Mission Continues, I have had continued success in my life. I accepted a full time salaried position with my former host organization as The Director of Programs for Team Kids. I continue to network and have made some great friends. I even added a few new family members. I have opened a new bright chapter in my life. I continue to grow and learn daily. I’m continuously challenged on a daily basis. I’ve had the privilege to work with thousands of children to inspire them to serve others in need. I work with my amazing new team and we are working to change the world one child at a time.

One thing that really impacted me to change the way I live my life was a question I was asked at FOCUS. The question was, “…what would friends and family say about you at your funeral?” That really made me think about my life and how I affect others on a daily basis. Have I left this world a better place than I found it? At FOCUS the answer in my mind really rocked me to my inner core. It hurt me so bad inside that I tossed and turned at night for weeks. I’ve made it my personal mission to leave this world as philanthropist; best friend; and amazing family man. I will make the world a better place.

I know that you, our warriors, have done more for our country than the other 99%. I’m asking you to challenge yourself once again. Show the rest of this world that you are a member of the finest generation of warriors that’s here to make this world a better place. You will improvise, adapt and overcome. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and let’s fight this fight together.

SEMPER FI
Doc Havig