Posted by Robert Caudill on September 14, 2014 at 12:30pmS

I was a aviation ordnance Marine in HMM-364 that carried out the casualty evacuation. one day I was told that I could volunteer to assist the Combat Corpsman by responding to the 9-lines. His name was Sgt Luke Zimmerman that was wounded when his tank hit a IED and was shot trying to wave us off. Once we landed a second time he was brought to me when I got him onto the stretcher and into the helicopter and watched while the corpsman worked frantically to keep him alive and to surgical where he passed 15 minutes later. I have been able to come to terms and move past the guilt and one of the ways is through art and this is one of my poems I will share with many more to come

The Truth behind the mirror.

As I stood in front of the mirror for the first time as a man, I knew my dream had been fulfilled.

Adjusting each buckle to its spot making sure the shine was perfect.

Checking the wings of my

Eagle, Globe, and Anchors, ensuring they were level to the ground.

Each medal pinned upon my chest was worn with pride.

Once they began to remind me of how they were earned, through blood and sweat,

They began to lose their luster.

Now, I stand in front of the mirror rushing to take off the uniform I was so eager to adorn.

I stumble to bed knowing the fate that waits

When the conditions are correct, I get a ticket to my past.

Oct 27th 2006 is the day I am affixed to.

I was not kicking in doors or riding in a convoy.

I was one of the Marines that would start my day as someone clings to life.

As the ringing of the casualty evacuation bell echoed through the flight line,

I raced to my position to soar through the sky.

In that pure moment of fear, time is nowhere near.

Once time stands still so will the sound.

Six Marines placed a fallen brother at my feet,

My task was simple and the burden was great.

I accomplished what I was trained for, but the guilt of I had failed consumed me.

I awakened from a chaotic slumber, standing in front of the mirror weeping into my blood covered hands.

I once was brave and ran into harm’s way,

Now I cower and cry when I close my eyes.

The nights are long and many years have passed with many more to come.

My mind begins to settle down bringing me back to the here and now.

Allowing me to look death in the eyes one more night,

Smiling as I remind him this Marine isn’t going down without a fight.